Awake

I am awake. I have been awake since 6am. Did the kids wake you up? You ask. NO! I am awake by my self. For no reason, but to annoy myself that I could have slept another hour. grrrrr.......

3 down 1 to go

I have made it through 3 Christmases. I am very proud of myself. I passed the fake "Whoville' smile on to everybody that I saw. I even ventured enough to say Merry Christmas and lived to tell about it. And NO I did not say Happy Holiday. I celebrate Christmas. And I want to say Merry Christmas. Also we happen to live in a community where there really isn't much diversity...... So the chances of offending someone are pretty slim.

Pilot found the grinch song "Your a Mean One Mr. Grinch" on youtube and told BAB that was 'mommy'. She kept asking to watch " 'mommy' on the 'puter". I have to admit it was kinda funny. Not to mention the cartoon The Grinch always makes me laugh. I don't know why..... I just do. I love the grinch!

The kids got a million toys. Which means a million old toys are going to be shoved out the door starting tomorrow. I will be donating most of them to the DHS for there 'family room'. I think they have toys in there from like the 1980's. I seriously think I recognize a doll that I had when I was a kid. yuck.

Pilot got me a kitchen aid knife set. He immediatley cut himself on one this morning. I knew I shouldn't have asked for them...... Also I got a dutch oven to replace the one he burnt previous. That made me very happy. I got Pilot a gift certificate to Caballa's (to which my dad and him have already made plans to go next week), a french press, and some lounge pants. He liked them all. BAB has been playing with the baby toys and LM and LP have been trying in ernst to get even a look at BAB's toys before she screams 'MINE' and the top of her lungs and runs right to her bedroom because she knows that she will go in time out. Oy. It has been a fun after Christmas day......

the voices

Today I was on the phone with a friend. LM thinks she needs to say Hi to everybody so she immediately commanders it as soon as I put it down. Me being distracted by the computer ( I know great mom skills!) doesn't see this. All of a sudden I realize that LM took my phone and I have no idea where it is at. I text messaged me from my computer. Still didn't hear it. Looked through the trash since that is her latest trick. Still not there. I had my friend call me. Had my husband call me. Still I couldn't find it. I put LM to bed and kept searching. Then I thought what if it is in LM's room. So turned the monitor way up and listened for it to ring. Then the creepiest freakiest voice came through the monitor and I about peed my pants. Many thoughts went through my head at this point. 'OMG my house it haunted. The toys are haunted. My poor baby is in there.' And then realization dawned on me. It was the little bear in her crib saying the lord's prayer.... Hee hee.

I did it

This is what I here 100 times in 1 meal time. I have been trying to teach BAB a few age appropriate table manners. IE using silverware appropriately, chewing with her mouth closed, taking a small enough bite and chewing.... Every time she does one of these she raises her hands, rotates them and declares in this monotone even voice "I did it, I did it" Nothing exciting about this. She is just declaring to the mice apparently. Keeping it even as not to scare them.....

dry skin

My skin is SOOOOOOOOOO dry. I think it is going to peel off and find somebody with nicer skin. I have given up long hot showers. Which rarely happened anyways with the kids. I have bought the expensive lotions. I have started drinking more water. Taken vitamin E. My skin is just pissed. Its pissed! If I knew what I did to make it so mad I would fix it. I apologized for being a bad to earlier in life. I begged for its forgiveness, but alas, it hates me still. *sigh*

The grinch that had Christmas at her house

I had the Christmas here last night. It didn't go to bad. There were a few kids here, that will remain nameless, that I wanted to strangle. But all in all the adults behaved. That is always a plus. And believe me, that does not always happen either. I still remain grinchy. Even worse today. I put my game face on last night so as not to scare all the little happy people. It all built up and is now erupting. Sorry dear children of mine...


Also on a side note, I watched a movie called Goya's Ghost. NOT a happy movie. Very sad. And I actually think that I may be scarred for life by it. Don't watch it. Seriously. Don't.

oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree........

We put up our Christmas tree yesterday. We had to elevate it on a table to circumvent all little hands from being naughty. So we have a huge table/tree in our house. I still have to decorate for Christmas. I am crazy enough to say that I would have a Christmas here this Friday. So much fun will ensue.....

the latest and newest

I am officially sleeping through the night. YAY! Well, kinda. No babies wake me up. At least on a regular basis. I feel so much better. (Still grinchy....) I even started taking a vitamin or 2. Maybe by Christmas of next year I will be all caught up on sleep. :)

BAB is in a big girl bed. She even went to bed early that night because she was so excited to sleep in her new bed. She kicked us all out. Even grandma and grandpa! So far she hasn't done too bad with the getting up thing. I totally did the nanny 911 thing. She rocks.

We have heard word that LP will be going back. It is going to happen slowly. I, of course, am in denial. She will slowly be having longer and longer visits with biomom. Then eventually she will not be back. This apparently will be happening over the next 2 months. Maybe more. I am going to try to see LP after she is permanently with her biomom. I think that biomom would agree to it as well. (cross my fingers)

LM and LP are growing like crazy. I can't hardly call her the Little Peanut any more! But she will always be that to me. The funny thing is BAB has such short little legs (18 months pants and 3t tops) that she will be sharing her pants with LM here pretty soon! I keep telling her she is going to have to start sleeping upside down hanging from her toes so she can stretch out her legs. She just laughs and calls me silly. I on the other hand am slightly curious to see if it would work...... :)

Also I am really sick of bottles. As long as LP is with us we will have them. Well, unless she is here later then April I guess. Which I suppose anything is possible. The next trick is to get LM to not steal her bottle! I swear them 2 are like twins. They steal each others pacifiers and bottles all day. Then they laugh about it. If they could just learn to band together against BAB I think they might have something.


Well, that is all for now I suppose. Sorry I have now bored you with all the info on my kids. I can't help it. I don't get out much....

The grinch 2

Well, i was hoping that I might be in a merrier mood this year. But as the holidays draw nearer I feel myself becoming more and more grinchier. I honestly tried. But I just can't stand all these happy shiny people in there cutsie little red outfits. Anyway, I won't go on for all you happy holiday people. God love ya, we gotta have those people too!

LM is so tired I think she may fall asleep in her food. I'm serious her eye lids are getting pretty droopy. Maybe I should just put her out of her misery and put her to bed. But that wouldn't be very fun now would it?!?!?!?

I'm giving up on sleep

I've decided that I'm not going to get LP to sleep through the night. She has some other problems that play into it. She has a hole in her heart that makes her sleepy during the day. This making it hard for her to actually sleep through a night when she has slept all day. Also she has acid reflux and spits up quite a bit through out the day. So I'm not surprised if every thing combined that she is actually not tired and actually hungry. So I've just decided to accept the fact that I will not be sleeping a whole night for a while. I will be having a mourning period for lost sleep tonight at dawn. :)

Shopping Therepy

I love it. I went to the Big City and went shopping today. I feel a lot better. I don't know what it is about shopping, but it always makes me feel better. I bought lots of stuff for the babies and BAB. I also got a few things for myself. I have been trying to go to the gym and work out.... So I bought myself some nice work out clothes to try and enthuse myself.

Baby boot camp Part Tres

LP slept from 7pm until 5am. I was in such a deep sleep that I was stiff and sore trying to get up and get a bottle. It was awesome.

Baby boot camp Part Duex

Ok if you all must know LP is in my room sleeping. I will most likely get up with her when she cries. If she continues to do this I think I will have to put her downstairs though. I think she might be teething again since she drooled a bucket today. This is the only thing saving her from my evil plan. So I'll be a nice little mommy and tend to my baby....... Plus, Pilot is going to be home tonight so he can tend to her too.

Baby boot camp

LP is going to go to Leslie's Baby Boot Camp tonight. She had been teething and has been sick for the last couple of months. This has brought on many bad habits. One of them being getting up ALL night. Last night she was up every hour to 2 hours. This has got to stop. She is in our room because she has been waking up all night and I don't want her to wake up LM who shares a room with her. Tonight, she is going in our 4th bedroom and I am not getting up to put a pacifier in every hour. If she is hungry I will feed her. But other wise she is just going to have to figure it out. Because she is almost 7 months. There is no reason for her to get up all the time. I can understand needing to eat at least once maybe twice. I am so tired. I need this sleep. I NEED this sleep.

Peek a Boo

LM and LP are playing peek a boo. It is REALLY cute. They seem to be 'playing' more with each other lately. I love it! BAB plays pretty good with them to.

In other news, LP is 6 months old and is still not able to eat solid food. I am a little worried about this. Her doctor is too. But she said give a little more time. I try every other day in hopes that she might swallow it, but she never does.

In other other news, LP finally slept through the night (mostly). She slept from 6-4:30! I was sooooooooooooooo happy when I woke up and saw what time it was. I may finally get some sleep!

Foster parenting

Sometimes it is hard to be a foster parents. Ok it is mostly hard to be a foster parent. It is just tougher sometimes more then others. Right now I feel like I am the only advocate for LP. And her Guardian At Lidem. The system is broken. Broken. WHy am I the only one questioning weather a certain 'situation' is safe? I think the system is desensitized. They have seen to much. How sad. *sigh*

Pilot wakes up this morning and turns the kettle on to boil some water for coffee. I'm still in bed pretending I'm sleeping. As I'm laying there I smell something burning. I was like 'oh there was prolly something on the burner.' and I turned over. After about 10 minutes I still smell it so I head to the living room. The smoke was so thick I could not even see the other side of the room. I turned the corner to my kitchen to see what was burning. Pilot had turned the wrong burner on. The one he had turned on had the pan from the night before with a few scraps of food in it and the serving spoon. The smoke was going crazy coming out of the pan. I opened my porch door and flung it over the railing. I am sure that there was flames at one point, but there was nothing left to burn after I went to get it later. Not to mention the spoon was melted in half. So then I put my shirt over my mouth because I'm starting to cough like crazy. I open all the doors and windows. Then I went and told Pilot, who was having a nice hot shower, that he was trying to kill us all. The end result was he was disappointed that it didn't have flames. Also I am still
coughing from the smoke inhalation. We had to keep all the kids in there rooms until the smoked cleared. BAB was not happy about the no breakfast situation.


*****No kids were harmed in the making of this story.**********

potty training

BAB is potty trained. In 5 days. We just told her there was no more diapers. She peed a couple times in her underwear, but she got the hang of it soon and just started going when she needed to. It was great! (ok so there was a little more then that, but you get the idea)

In other news- LP has finally stopped her teething and cold/virus/fever stuff. So she has been feeling and acting better. Although I can't seem to figure out her problem tonight. She is a little cranky. But the other 2 are in bed presumably sleeping. YAY!

camping...... why?

So I have been roped into camping..... again. Did I not say last time I would not do it again? I swear I did. Well, Pilot and I are apparently going to take his grandma's motor home to a rustic campground. We will be spending 2 nights. Alone. No. Kids. I am having slight anxiety over leaving them for this long. I miss them already. But GG is going to be watching them. She is very capable and I am positive they will be fine. I just don't want them to think I abandon them. Ok, so I am being over dramatic. I know. I just hope all goes ok with the camping. I told Pilot that I would not be doing anything. I would planting my butt on a seat/bed/blanket and reading/sleeping. That was the only thing I would be expected to do. He said ok. I bought a book and I am bringing a lounge chair.

In other news, LPs hearing was yesterday. It sucked canal water. I was not happy with the way it went. Biomom is doing everything right "on paper". So they have nothing to fight back with. I can't tell you how it hurts me to think that LP would leave our family. She still has a good 8 months to prove herself. I try not to freak out about anything yet. This is the part about foster parenting that I hate. Also there is a family member in another state that they are thinking about sending LP to as well. I am not happy.

In other other news, LPs pediatric cardio appt. was yesterday as well. They think that Zoey is doing ok as long as she is gaining weight appropiately and breathing fine they will wait until she is a year old to do the surgery. So I guess that is good. I can't imagine having a 1 year old in a hospital room! That will be something to look forward to.....

Canning, canning and more canning

It seems like I am doing all kinds of canning this year. Or maybe its because I am more busy it is more of a deal. Either way, I will be happy this winter when I have canned tomatoes and beans from the garden. And frozen corn as well. I would really like to can some peaches, pears and applesauce this year too. But I may be asking to much of myself! We will see. I can only do what I can do!

In other news, I have been up since 3am this morning. Four cups of coffee later at 10am I was headed to the city for a birthday present for my sister and toilet paper. Hey when you are out it really sucks! I guess I also needed formula for LP. She has been super cranky with her teeth coming in. Oh well, she will live just like the rest of us. And I suppose I will too.....

chocolate

I just ate to many dove chocolate minis. I didn't think it was possible, but my guts are telling me otherwise. Sorry, guts, I probably will do it again.

Can I Whine please?

I am so tired. I think I could sleep for a week. I have a cold. My body has decided that it hates me. My cat and dog are mad because they know its getting to be fallish out. So they have taken up shifts bugging me to maximize their torture. Its raining out which really bums me out. LP and LM have taken up tag teaming nap routines. One goes down and the other wakes up.


EVERYBODY is going to bed early tonight. Even the dog and cat.

Molly homemaker continues

I made homemade pizza sauce and, sit down, canned it myself. I have also canned tomatoes and beans this year. And have froze corn. I will have more tomatoes to can in the future as well. My mom and I planted a garden this spring. So we will have a lot of tomatoes still. My mom likes green beans so we will be doing more of those to.

LP has been not sleeping well at all lately. I am hoping that it is a phase. I am also hoping that it is not another ear infection. Mostly for the fact that it is Friday and I don't want to end up in the ER with a screaming cranky baby. I think I may have slept about 4 hours last night..... maybe.

I will leave you with this for now- ( I had come in with canning jars and started putting them in the dish washer to be washed. I talking a mile a minute and laughing. And also it was about 1pm)

My mom- Ok, I want to know what new drug you are on.

Me- coffee. 4 Cups. (saying this very fast)

My mom- (Staring at me, eyes raised) Wow. (Goes back to snapping beans)

internet shopping

It's addicting. I can't stop. But I have found some really good deals! I got some really cute things from the Children's Place and Gymboree! I mean the 5 dollars in shipping and handling is easily less then if I went all the way to a big city. So............ really i am saving money. So there.

Molly homemaker

I made my own baby food. I am so proud of myself! It really was easy. I made my nephew's baby food back when he was a baby. But I have been to busy for me to make my babies. Last night I backed some squash. This morning I scrapped them out boiled some chicken and apples. I put them all together and pureed. Easy enough. I had bought some freezy containers for baby food so I plopped it in them and stuck them in the freezer! All ready for dinner times!

Feelings

I feel like a big pile of manure. Figuratively speaking that is.

The crazy house

This is my schedule:

7 Get all kids up change diapers. Give LM and LP bottle.
7:30 clean up and fix breakfast for me, BAB, and LM
8 Eat breakfast with BAB and LM
8:30 give LP cereal
9 put LM down for nap
9:30 Put LP down for nap
10 mommy time with BAB
10:30 get snack for BAB and I
11 Give LM bottle
11:30 Give LP bottle
12 Get lunch around for BAB, LM and I
1 Put LP and BAB down for nap
1:30 Put LM down for nap
2 clean up kitchen and living room. Do other chores
2:30 Feed LP
3 mommy time with LP
3:30 Feed LM
4 Get snack for BAB
4:30 Put LP down for nap
5 Mommy time with LM
5:30 Get supper ready
6 feed the minions
6:30 clean up from supper
7 get LM ready for bed
7:30 Get LP ready for bed
8 Get BAB ready for bed
8:30 Dive into bed and sleep


*LP still wakes up around 5ish in the AM for a bottle as well

Diets Suck

Well, I am currently still on the no gluten diet. I actually love that. I do feel a ton better. I overloaded on gluten last Sunday and regretted it very much. But at least I know that the no gluten thing is working. However, I have now started a 1200 calorie diet. I hate it. But I will love it when I am 40 lbs. smaller. I lost weight before I had LM and that is when I got pregnant. I better uh.... make sure I do something hence I end up pregnant again. Anyway, this is the first day I actually made it through with out Oh Hecking it. I didn't quite make the 1200 calorie mark, but I got close enough. Tomorrow will be better.

In other news, Pilot is leaving me for 5 days to go back packing with my dad. I guess I should be happy that my husband and my dad get along. I'm not happy that he is going away when he could be here. I don't see him hardly enough as it is. *sigh*

LP's visits

They told me on Thursday that LP would start unsupervised visits. This really sucks. I love LP. I love her with all my heart. She is my daughter. I don't care if someone else carried her for 9 months. She is mine. But the state says 'No she's not. She is yours to love and bond with so that she may have a hope of having a normal life. But don't get attached. She really isn't yours.' I feel like I am sending my child into the lions den. I can rationalize. I can tell myself it will be ok. But it just doesn't cut it. I cried when they told me and I will cry when I leave her. This is the part I hate. This just sucks.

LM and the casse of the sleep trifecta

LM has not been sleeping well. She has what we call here the sleep trifecta. There are three reasons why LM suffers from this(hence the TRIfecta). 1.) She is learning to walk. Every waking moment, even in the middle of the night, she is up in her crib trying to walk. 2.) She is cutting a tooth. 3.) Pilot came home with a cold and so kindly gave it to her (and the other 2!). So not only can she not breath. She is desperately trying to learn to walk AND her gums hurt. It is a no wonder I get any sleep. In fact why am I not sleeping now you ask? Because I am eating cereal since I have time now that all kids are sleeping for the night. I am to tired to make anything decent. Good night all I will be up in a couple of hours.

Last night....

.......I was giving the babies their bath and doing there weekly primping and preening. Both the babies had cradle cap again so I was putting emoliant on their heads. I cut their finger nails and their toe nails. LP has in grown toe nails so was putting ointment on them. Cleaned their ears. After wards I got LP a bottle. Since the zantac doesn't help the spitting up, but seems to help the heartburn part I decided to try something different. Somebody told me to try probiotics and omega 369 oil in her bottle. So I bought the stuff and was putting her bottle together with all her stuff. It just kinda hit me at that moment that I was her mother. It doesn't matter that her birth certificate says otherwise. I take care of her. I love her. I am up with her when her acid reflux is bothering her. I look for answers when her acid reflux medicine isn't working. I clean her ears. I take care of her cradle cap. I cut her nails. I am her mother.

Emotional abuse

It happens. I witnessed it yesterday in the supermarket parking lot. I was walking in and heard a woman yelling in the next row over. She was verbally beratting this child that I could not see due to the cars. I couldn't help but hear every word she was saying since she was shouting so loud. "Shut up, I don't want to hear it. It was your fault to. You were hurting him too. You need to be nice." And that was the clean version. She used some nasty language and was saying it in a very cruel way. The farther I got down the way I was starting to get really steamed up. As I got to the end and she was parralel to me I had decided I was going to say something too her. I was alone and if she tried to harm me physically there was about 20 people watching her already. And words do not bother me. I looked over to see the child and she was merely 3 years old. She had on a ratty old white shirt that was ripped and barely on and a nasty dirty pair of shorts. Her red hair was just a snarly fro on her head. She didn't even look like she was even there. She was a hollow shell running beside her irate mother. I almost choked on a sob. Just as I was going to open my mouth someone from behind her yelled "Maybe you should be nice to her then." She looked around to see who yelled at her. When her eyes met mine I said " I didn't say it, but I sure wish I had." She just looked ahead and walked faster. Tears came to me eyes as I watched that poor little girl barely able to keep up with her mom. I sent up many prayers for that girl and still do. Its people like that mother that make me sick. There are people out there hurting so badly to have a baby. She makes me sick. I can't help but think what she does in the privacy of her home that she would do this outrage in public. Its sick. Just sick.

baby got your tail?

Isn't that how it goes? Oh yeah, cat got your tongue.... I don't think LP got the memo. I put LP in my bed to change her and get her ready for bed. I left her there while I hunted down some PJs. The cat, who is pretty docile with the babies unless they make a loud noise or pull her hair, was laying about a foot away from her. She lets them get close to her, but if the make afore mentioned offenses she will slowly walk away so they don't think she is leaving because of them yet just fast enough that they can't get her. Anyway, I came back to find the cat stretched out by LP. LP had the cats tail in her mouth sucking on it. After I gagged I took a picture. I couldn't help it. Then I took the tail out of her mouth and fished out the small hair ball left. Gagged again and put her pajamas on.

The mean nap lady reigns

I apparently got this title back when I was watching WEW full time. I watched him from about 2 months until about 18 months. I am advocate that babies and toddlers do not get enough sleep. So I made sure WEW got his sleep. Well the title stayed as I acquired BAB and now my two babies. Although I have laxed somewhat......

Well...... It is 5 o clock and BAB is taking her second nap for the day and the babies are taking there 3rd. I am actually impressed with my self. Although I do have to say that BAB sleeping was a mistake. She was testing me awful at about 4ish and I had enough. So I said you need to go to your ni ni for some time out. The next thing I know she was sleeping. Oh well. I guess she needed it. I will wake her up soon though because I do not want her up all night. I just hope that the babies sleep tonight because they have slept so much today! I guess if they sleep they need it right?

Boring

I don't know why, but today was the most boring day I've had in a while. I can't quite put my finger on why. It is an exceptionally nice day out. I think I am just devoid of all energy. LP has been keeping me awake all night the last couple of weeks. She will not eat cereal. I gave her some oatmeal last night, but she just puked it all up within a half in hour. *shrug* I think it is just her acid reflux. I will keep trying.

In other news, BAB seems to be hyper alot lately. Which does not bode well for my nerves. The lack of sleep and a hyper 2 year old only make for cranky over caffeinated moms.

In other other news, I started my celiacs diet today. I know I said I was going to start it last Sunday, but I didn't. So far it hasn't been to bad. I just have to make a few adjustments here and there. I have noticed that I am not getting filled up like I do with the wheat products. I don't know if it is in my head or not. I am guessing that it is. Since really all I am doing different is eating potatoes, rice, and corn pasta (instead of semolina). Athough it might have something to do with the fact that I am a carb queen and I have not been eating those carbs.

Who Knew

I took LP to the doctor Wednesday for her regular well baby visit. She has been spitting up alot lately. I mean probably half her bottle. So they decided to do an Upper GI this morning. Which was interesting. They made her drink a bottle of barium dye and watch it as it went down. I told the nice techy guy that she would not drink it. He said 'well, we will see, we have never had a problem before. You will be surprised.' I said ok. *roll eyes* So time comes for her to drink it. She gags, she spits it out. They were like 'wow, I've never seen that.' Hmmmmmm....... Anyway, Everything was good though. But the funny thing is, we have been giving her zantac to counter act the acid reflux. The last time she took it was Wednesday morning. Almost all day Friday and Most of the time today she hardly even spit up. Interesting. It could be a fluke. But maybe she was having a reaction to the zantac. Well, we will just have to wait and see.


In other news, my dog was never gone. That night at about 11pm my mother calls me. (We moved basically across the street from them.) She says 'Did you find Sheila?' At which I was quite confused since I never called and told her she was missing and I had previously been sleeping. She continued after a brief silence from my end as I was trying to think ' She came down to our house while you were gone so we brought her back. We put her in the 3 seasons room so she wouldn't follow us.' She never even barked or anything to be let out! She is such a good doggy!

Missing

My dog is missing. She is always here when I get home. She guards my house while I'm gone. Believe me, I've had first hand witnesses! But when I came back today she was gone. I hope she comes back. She is a good dog! I want her back! BAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Hold on to your socks....

It is 7:00pm and all my babies are sleeping or in bed. I am shocked. I might even cry. Tears of joy, that is. My cat, who only comes out when the babies are sleeping, is wandering around befuddled. She is meowing and looking around cautiously like a baby is going to come around the corner and pull her whiskers out. (Not that I would let any of my babies do that) It is kinda funny.
In other news, I am going to go on the celiacs diet starting Sunday. My friend was recently diagnosed with it. So I have been looking into it. I thought maybe I would give it a try and see if it helps. I guess 1 out of 133 people have it. And 3 out of 4 of those people are undiagnosed. Which now that I think about it.... how do 'those' people know that 1 out of 133 people have it if 75 % of the 1 out 133 people are undiagnosed? I'm so confused. I think I need to get my facts straight........

It all goes down hill from here.

LM is crawling. Everywhere! I can't contain the beast. She is everywhere and nowhere. She is silent, but deadly. Thank goodness the house is pretty child friendly already. Except our groat is coming up in our kitchen. It seems this is always a fun thing to try and put in your mouth. So far that is the worst. I am going to have to take all chokable toys downstairs as she is crawling into BAB's room now too. This is so exciting for BAB. She thinks it is great that she has a mobile play toy know. Me, not so much. BAB still lacks the finesse it takes to 'be careful' around a baby. Heck, she will take a header on the tile floor and get up laughing while she starts running again! Oh well, maybe I am doomed to have a bunch of roughians living in my house. Theres always hope with LP!

busy as a bee

Well, I have a minute. Ok so maybe not I just heard LP crying.

Ok, I literally started this post 2 days ago. Seriously. So the long of the short- We still have LP. (YAY!) Prolly for a awhile. We moved into a REALLY nice and VERY much bigger house. (YAY!) Didn't have internet for a little while. But I think things are getting into a groove around here. I have somebody coming out a couple days a week. She comes and I leave for a couple hours while I take LP to her parental visits. I get a little time to myself and she helps out around the house as well. She. does. my. laundry. I love her. I wish she could move in.

OK, again, it is the next day. I am going to finish this post weather it kills me or not! I am so busy. The DHS called me on Friday asking if I would take a 4 and 7 year old. I said no. I felt really bad, but I just can't do it. With the ages of kids that I have it would be to much. I wouldn't be able to help the kids like they deserve. I would not have enough time in the day to do everything.

In other news, my dog Sheila is shedding. It is awful. She must be part husky or something. Literally half of her hair is gone. Or more! It was just coming off in clumps. She would get so mad at me if I would take the clumps off her. It was actually kind of funny. She would run around and then come look at me accusingly. Hee Hee. Anyways, I was finally able to get the rest out the other day. I just raked my fingers through her hair about a bagillion times. I had a small chihuahua hair ball when I was done. It was gross. But at least it is not all over my living room floor. And she looks about 20 lbs. lighter.

Important points

1. I'm very tired.
2. I'm not pregnant.
3. I have not taken in anymore foster babies.
4. I have moved and I LOVE my new house.
5. The whole house is in great general health.


I am trying to get into a groove so that I can have more time for writing. Sorry to neglect this!

ThE craZineSs coNtInuEs

Well, I was able to get away thanks to GG and TJ. I had a day to shop for clothes for Zoey and then I spent the night at a hotel with Pilot. That was very nice and rejuvenating. I got a bunch of clothes and toys for Zoey. Shopping therapy does wonders. I don't know what it is, but it works! I feel so much better that I can get stuff done around the house instead of sitting with a blank stare......

I had to take BAB to the doctor today when I got home. She had a cold. Which always turns into asthma problems. Always. So I went with BAB, LM, and LP. All of them. It was fantastic. Ok a little sarcasm never hurt anybody. Actually all of them behaved pretty good. LP was miffed because I woke her up, changed her diaper and her clothes..... and didn't feed her. So she pretty much cried the while way there. But we fixed it fast with a bottle. Long story short BAB has an ear infection and nasty cough due to drainage. I have 6 medicines for her. SIX! One- antibiotic, two- cough medicine, three- albuteral, four- pulmicort, five- zantac, six- singulair. Well she has been on the last 2 already. For Pete's sake. I feel like I am medicating the crap out of her! The good news is she is already feeling better. She hasn't been coughing like she was. And she is looking a little livelier.


In other news, LP may be leaving us. She may be going to live with a family member of hers. I don't like it. That is all I can say.


In other other news, we had to take LP to a cardio specialist. She has 2 holes in her heart. One will close, but the other will not. She will have to have surgery. They will not do it until she is 6 months unless she is having problems breathing. So we have a little while to go. She will be Ok until then.

Little Peanut Part Duex

*******Disclaimer********
If you have not had babies or are not familiar with babies this nay not be as funny to you.. Sorry.

LP seems to do everything in parts. Just when you think you have accomplished anything with her she does it again. For instance, 4 out of 5 times that I change her diaper she pees as soon as the diaper is off. So if the new diaper isn't there or the old diaper still then her outfit is wet. So you have to change it. If she poops I will wait as long as I can which is hard because she screams until I change her, she will poop as soon as you wipe her butt. Again, if the new diaper isn't there or the old one still your changing her outfit...again. This has been going on for awhile. The newest thing is spit up. She has acid relux so she tends to spit up..... alot. So today, she was fussing so I get her up change her diaper successfully with out a pee or poop incident mind you and she doesn't want to eat. She has to poop. So I leave her poop. She gets done and I change her....again...... and successfully. I sit her on her glider while I get her bottle around again. She spits up all over her outfit. All that careful planning during 2 diapar changes apparently for nothing. So I change her. I get the bottle sit down with LM at my side since she can't seem to leave my side anymore. I start feeding LP and she stops still for about 3 seconds. Then mount spit up errupts. LP and I am now covered from top to bottom even in our hair. So....... I change her again.

sleep........ and the case of the mud

After 5 attempts to get zantac down LP's mouth I finally succeeded. I about started crying. Ok so I was a little emotional last night...... lack of sleep does that. I have been up all night the two previous nights with a screaming baby. Once she got it down she slept so good. I was just about reduced to tears because I was finally going to get some sleep. Poor girl had acid reflux and nobody even knew it. She is doing so much better. She is even sucking on a pacifier. That is good considering she started out so little and not even sucking on a bottle.

In other news, BAB has decided that mud is fun. She will sit and scoop mud for hours. And for BAB that is impressive. She is so crazy wild. I hardly see her be still for more then 5 seconds. And that is not an exaggeration. So we have had nightly baths. This is proofing to be not fun. See she doesn't like her hair washed. So she screams the whole time..... The whole time. I have to shut all the windows for fear someone will call CPS on ME!

Weighty issues

Well, LM isn't gaining weight like the doctors want. So I have to start giving her high calories formula. I don't want to, but I want her to be healthy so....... I will........ LP is gaining weight just fine though. So that is good. She is growing and looking much healthier. I'm very happy about that. She does, however, have acid reflux. So that is bad. But I almost expected it. But if that is the worst I can deal with that. I however need to LOOSE weight. Post partum bodies suck.

mushrooms

I have to take LP to DHS to have parental visit tomorrow. Last week her biomom sent some clothes for her. So being the nice person that I am I decided that I was going to put her in an outfit that she sent. Unfortunately they smelled like smoke. I can't stand that smell. I treat all foster babies/kids that come into my care like they are my own. Whether they are here for a week or forever. I would not put clothes that smell like smoke on my child. So at 9 o'clock at night I decided I needed to wash them so she could wear them. My washer and dryer are in my nasty basement and I make it a rule to not go down there. But I had to if I wanted to wash the clothes. So I put my muckers on and head down into the great unknown. I silently pray that no boogie monsters (aka: bats) get me. I also tried to get my big dog to come down with me and she refused........ panty waist...... Anyways, I make it down and start some laundry. As I am headed back I happen to look at the floor. What do you think I saw? Mushrooms. Mushrooms were growing in my basement! I almost fell on the floor laughing until I realized were I was.....



(not the ending you were expecting, huh?!?!?)

My day

Well, we have been having a glorious day here. It is in the high 60s and I am loving it! ALthough I can only love it from the inside of my house. There is no play equipment out for BAB yet and I am not taking a 2 year old, a 3 month old and a newborn to the park. It is only 2 blocks, but I did that yesterday with a friend and LP screamed the whole way back. I am going to try and keep what sanity I have left.

LP has a parental visit with her biomom tomorrow morning. I am dropping my two other minions off to my moms and then after I drop LP off to the DHS I am going shopping....... ALONE. I know I am as shocked as you. Ok, i must confess, it is just grocery shopping. But non the less it makes me giddy. I will be able to LOOK at something for more then 3 seconds at a time. WOO HOO! I might even get to go to more then one store........ whoa...... I'm getting a little lighted headed....

Also the sleep gods must really love me because I got all three of my babies to sleep at the same time today. BUT LP and LM were in cohoots last night to never let me sleep. LM didn't go to sleep until 11pm then LP woke up at 12:30am then, LM woke up at 3:30am then LP woke up at 5:30am and then LM woke up at 7:30am. The whole night was a blur. I was lucky if I remembered which one to whip a boob out and which one to give a bottle!

My child must be starving

I'm making steak and onion pie. It smells REALLY REALLY good. BAB is screaming at the top of her lungs because I put it in the oven instead of her highchair. I think she will make it another 30 minutes. Me on the other hand may retreat to insanity.

WIC

I went to the WIC office today and tried to sign LP up. Because LP is in the foster system she can get it. And I thought 'Hey formula is expensive!' So anyways, my experience like many other experiences with state and government facilities was mildly frustrating. You can only go in Thursdays to get new WIC coupons so I thought I was doing good. I get in there and the lady says well we have to make an appt. for LP to get signed up. I was like 'What!' The soonest they could get me in was April 29th! I was so pissed. I mean I feel like I am on there side here. I am not asking for free stuff. I am doing them (the state) a service by taking care of a child that is in there protection. So why can't they get me WIC? I was a little disgruntled. Not only that, but if you think about all the poor mothers out there that really can't afford to feed their children and they have to wait 20 days to get assistants. So what do their kids starve until then? What a load of crap. I wrote the social worker I deal with and told her how pissed I was.

oh......my.........lord.......

All three babies are sleeping at the same time. I am going to take a nap myself if I can! But first I get to clean........... BAH!

Its like having twins

So I guess it hasn't been that bad. LP sleeps most of the time. I have problems getting her to eat, but other then that she hardly lets a peep. LM on the other hand is being a little fussy lately. Although she just got 3 shots in her thigh..... Poor baby. Pilot leaves tomorrow for two days so we will see how it goes. I think it will be okay. Also I have to take LP for a visit with biomom and hopefully I will find out a little more about how things are going to go. We will see!

Oh Thee Insanity

I have officially gone off the deep end. I now have a new born foster baby on my house as well as a 3 month old and a 22 month old. They were pretty desperate to call me. We had told them not to call because we had our hands full as it was. So when they called I knew they were desperate. I have decided to name her Li'l Peanut as she is only 5 pounds. So very tiny! We picked her up yesterday. She did very good last night. She has a very high pitched squeal for a cry right now, but it is very soft. Hopefully the highness will dim down as the loudness increases! We do no know how long we will have her. She may go to a relative. The DHS has to check the two that came forward and asked to have her. Then she will be placed with them or she will stay here. Either way I will be ok. I believe family is important, but I would be very happy if she stayed here to! I will keep you all updated!

In other news, the house was inspected yesterday. Everything looks good. We met the owner. He was very nice. He told us a little bit about the place which was nice. Potential move date is late May/early June.

In other other news, LM is not gaining weight like they want. So I may have to supplement with formula. Bah! I don't want to do that so I am trying to research ways to get around this. And she got 3 shots yesterday! I almost cried! It was awful! She puked yesterday too which she never does. I felt so bad for her.

In other other other news, the adoption worker finally came out. He said that things look good and that everything should be final in about 4-5 months. YAY!


Well, both babies are crying so I better go!

finally

They have finally accepted our offer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New house

We put an offer down on a house yesterday. We need to move out of town! Our neighbors are horrible! As I've blogged before they have chickens that get on our porch and crap all over it. And that is just to start out! They are drug dealers, all there kids smoke, there is always nasty young men hanging around the house, there is always screaming and yelling coming from the house, they have a defunct van in the back yard that they use as a tool shed, they leave dead deer carcasses out to rot, I have called the police on them twice for domestic disturbance, and I think I could go on for ever so I will quite now. So we decided that we need to get out now that we have 2 girls. So we put an offer down on a house that we have looked at twice now. Once a couple of years ago and then just last Saturday. It has 12 acres of land, on a lake, ranch with a walk out basement, 4 bedroom, 2 full bathrooms, 3 seasons room, enclosed porch, attached garage, and a huge room above the garage. We are really hoping to get it. It is a a good deal for 2 reasons 1.) they want out bad. I believe they are trying to move to Arizonia? and 2.) it is a buyers market in the state that I live in. Anyway, I can not wait to hear. They are supposed to get back to us by tomorrow.

Just the 2 of us

Pilot and BAB went to visit the mother in law. Actually its the annual 'pool party'. All the family gets together for the weekend and stays at a hotel. It takes 7 hours to get to were they are going. I don't know who to feel worse for Pilot or BAB. Last time we went up there BAB screamed the whole way there. Ok maybe just half. But it felt like the whole time. I have not heard from Pilot yet today to see how it went..... I decided that traveling with a screaming toddler and a nursing 2 month old was not for me. Sorry in laws! Love you anyways! I may go up there at the end of May to see my sister in law getting her nursing pin and graduate. That shall suffice. So its just me and LM. I even got to take a nap today. WOO HOO!

In other news, we put an offer down on a house! So we may be moving! YAY!

The baby is sleeping

All day LM would not sleep. She would only sleep in my arms. Unfortunately that is possible as I have toddler running around that needs my attention as well. So she spent a good portion of today miffed at me crying in her glider. BUT she is sleeping finally in her glider. Hopefully for the night. If she wakes up I may cry...and get up and rock her back to sleep.

BAB and her bag o' medicine

We took BAB to another doctor finally. I never really liked her old one. She just didn't seem to give me any direction in BAB's asthma, acid reflux, or eating issues. However, she is still on medicaid until she is adopted and most doctor's offices have a limit of how many patients they can take that are on medicaid. I couldn't find another doctor that would take her. But LM's doctor let us take BAB up to her anyways. She is awesome! She has her on a ton of medicine right now, but it is only for a brief period. BAB always has a 'smoker's cough' and I kept asking the old doctor about it. She just kept saying it was ok. New Doctor says no its not and we are going to fix it. BAB was wheezing and had a ear infection as well and I didn't even know it. So she is on amoxicillin for the ear infection, oral steriod for 5 days, singular (indefinitely), Zantac (still), and albuteral through her nebulizer 4 times a day for 2 weeks. Also she upped her zantac because it wasn't nearly enough. She said this might also help her eating issues as well. I hope so. But I have a feeling it won't. I think it is more emotional then physical. So in the long run BAB will only be on zantac, singular, and possibly albuterol. The thought is to dry up all her congestion in her chest so she will not have her 'smokers cough'. This will keep ear infections down as well. Also I am hoping that she will be better behaved after all has calmed down. She is just so up and down with her emotions. I just don't think she felt good. Besides the fact that she was feeling icky from wheezing and congestion her acid reflux was probably bad because she wasn't getting enough medicine. Stupid old doctor. So I am really hoping when all is said and done that she will a happier child.

Birthday

Well, today is my birthday and as per tradition it has been moderately sucky. Not because of anybodies doings. Both my sister and my mom had the flu yesterday. I don't want to risk me or my girls getting that nastiness so I'm not going out with them. My sisters in laws are both out of town. My friend's kids are sick. So shes out. Pilot left this morning for work. And even if I wanted to go out by myself all my babysitters are afore mentioned! Besides that BAB is on steriods due to asthma type issues and is REALLY REALLY cranky. So taking them out with me is a no go unless I buy some xanax on the black market. But alas I am 27 years old today even so. I don't feel that old. I know its really not old. I didn't mean that exactly. I just feel like I am still 21, young and hip. Then I look around my house and my wardrobe and think otherwise. I need a makeover! I think I am having a mini-crisis. BAH!

Good day at the ranch

I finally ventured out today with both kids alone. I was a little stressed at first, but soon realized there was nothing to worry about. BAB was really good. LM was not so proper today though. But all in all they were both on pretty good behaviour. We started out at Babie R Us. I might have pushed it a little when we went by the toy isle. After that I decided to go when we were still doing good. Then we sat in the Target parking lot while both girls had lunch and decided to try a little more shopping. That trip was very short however. LM was a little fussy so I fugured we should just go. But I got a few shirts and got BAB a bunch of summer clothes too. So we did really good today. YAY!

tired so, so tired

Well, LM is almost 8 weeks old. We are starting to get a semi schedule going. That helps me. Because then I may be able to get a nap in as well if I play my cards right. YAY! She sleeps pretty good through the night still. But even so I only get about 6 hours of sleep in between getting up to feed her and going back to sleep. It is so exhausting taking care of 2 kids under the age of 2. I am basically a single mother unless you count the 2 days a week Pilot is home. Poor BAB doesn't hardly get my attention very much anymore. At least she doesn't try to poke the baby very much anymore. She is at a 'no touchy' rule right now unless she can sucker someone into letting her do it. LM is just to little for grabby little girl hands. Soon enough she will be able to play with her. Then I will have a whole other set of problems..... LM has a doctors appt. next for her 2 month well baby visit. I don't want to take her since she will have to get like 5 shots. Poor baby.

BAB is sick

Blech. BAB is sick. Which means I have to give her nebulizer treatments 3-4 times a day. Her nose runs like a faucet and she coughs like her lungs are gonna come out. This happens before she even gets a cold. Because she had asthma this is what happens every time. Then I end up giving her palmicort. Which is a steroid. It makes her so irritable and naughty. So not only am I wiping her nose every 5 minutes and warding her off of my newborn because she is constantly hacking, but I have to put up with 10 times worse screaming and attitude from a 20 month old. Can I go on vacation yet?

Latest on BAB and more

Well, Biodad's rights have been termintated as of last week. So the file is now transfered to the adoption social worker. I hear he is um.... interesting. So I guess we will see how it goes. They say it will take a minimum of 6 months. Oh well, I am pretty sure there is no family that is interested so I guess we just sit and wait.

The SW asked us if we are still going to do foster care. The answer is we just don't know. We kinda decided that we were going to wait until Little Miss was 6 months old and reaccess. Fundamentally we do not have a problem doing foster care. Fostering to adopt is a little unnerving due to not knowing whether they will stay or not. Fostering a child for a year and having them leave would be devastating. We were thinking about maybe doing respite. Where we would maybe take in a child/sibling group for a few weeks or so. Kinda like we did for Sweet Pea. He was here because they were checking out family. He might have stayed or he might have not. Or sometimes a child that is already in foster care needs a place for a couple of days or weeks. I guess we have time to think about it. Right now we just can't do anymore.

Nefertiti and the Relocation Department

Well, my cat, Nefertiti, has been transfered to the relocation department. She has decided that the cat litter box is not good enough for her. So she started peeing on my carpets. This lasted about 2 times. She was outside for about a week before we decided she needed to have a barn or somewhere she can stay warm since it has been -20 in the arctic zone here. So TJ and Bruce decided that she can be a garage/barn kitty. The good thing is that is one less hair shedding monster living in my house. YAY!

lint roller stock

For those who have stock in lint rollers - You may rejoice. I just rolled my couch and used 5 sheets per cushion. Ok, so I haven't lint rolled in forever, but the fact remains that I used about 15 sheets just to get the hair off my couch.

Bubbles

So I think I have mentioned on the past that BAB has some eating issues. She will eat until she pukes. She begs for food now. It is really quite sad. She signs more and says "mo. mo. mo." And she says it in this really sad whiny, pouty face like she hasn't ate in days. It is always a scene when we eat out and when she has an audience because she thinks they will give her more food. Unfortunetly for her they usually do. I have had to get strict with her about begging for more food from people. I have had to get strict with people giving her more food as well. They think she will stop like normal toddlers do when they are full. Or they think its "funny" that a 2 and a half foot 20 month toddler will eat a whole banana, 2 sausage links, piece of whole wheat toast and half a donut. I didn't think it was funny when she got home later and had acid reflux coming up into her throat all day. There is not a thing that I have given her that she has not vacummed into her mouth. She barely even chews it. I'm serious. I have given her salsa and chips. She wanted more. I have given her olives. She wanted more. Although I gave her a nutrigrain bar for a snack the other day and she threw it down and screamed 'no!' I looked at her like she had just split in two and out came an alien. She proceeded to pick it back up and eat it. And all was right with the world. Today I was at a friends house. My friend was blowing bubbles. We were trying to get BAB to blow them. She kept trying to EAT the bubble stick. BAB got ahold of the bubble stick while my friend and I were talking and proceeded to put it in her mouth and suck on it. We took it out immediately and she very seriously asked "mo. mo. mo." She wanted more soap!!! I repeat there is nothing that I have given her or not given her that she will not eat! When we told her she couldn't eat the bubbles she threw herself on the floor and screamed. *sigh*

Coming around

Ok, the new name is........ Little Miss. She is so prim and proper. Always a good little girl. She has a very small angry hour around 9-11ish at night, but then again she is a girl. (and my daughter!) So I will tell you the story of the birth day of Little Miss.

Pre note: We were to go to the hospital that morning at 6:30am to induce labor.

I was laying in bed after getting up less then 2 hours before. It was currently about 2:30am. I was feeling contractions, but nothing that hurt. I was half asleep wondering if maybe I should get up and time them. Then all of a sudden a small gush of water started seeping out. I thought to myself. "Ok, I guess I will get up now!" I rushed to the bathroom and was trying to decide if my water really did break. after a few minutes it really started gushing. So I yelled to Pilot

"Pilot, I think we need to go to the hospital. My water broke."

Pilot then yells back " Can't we wait until 6?"

After biting my tongue I said very sweetly "No, honey, I don't think we can" as I am stuck on the toilet.......

So he gets up and says "Do I have time for a shower."

I was like "No!"

Ten minutes later he is still in the bathroom (after his shower....) and I have gone through 3 pairs of pants waiting for him. I open the door to see him SHAVING!!!!!!! "What are you doing!"

"I have to shave!"

"I am going out to the car now." 5 minutes later and a soaked towel I am honking the horn. He finally gets out. "What were you doing?"

He says "Turning off the lights you left on." I gave him the stink eye.

So we get to the hospital and start checking in. I change in to the ever attractive hosptial gowns and get all hooked up to the doohickeys and thingamajigs. The nice nurse informs me that the babies heart rate isn't looking to good. I was like alright...... what do we do? SO they moved me this way and that way. The babies heart rate would go down after my contractions which is bad I guess. They called the doctor in to check. She said to wait for awhile and monitor it. Then she broke my water in the right place because it apparently was broke on the side. After that I went into immediate hard contractions 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart if I was lucky. It has horrible. I know every woman goes through it... Blah, blah, blah. So I got an epidural immediately. After that her heart rate was really bad. The nurse suggested that the doctor might do a c-section so Pilot immediately called my sister, his mom, and his sister-in-laws because there was no way he was going to make it 2 feet from the door of the OB room! My sister came in first and I told her what was going on and then Pilot's mom and SIL's came in. So they called the doctor back in and she said that we had to do a c-section. Nurses of all kinds swarmed my room. I had about 20 nurses asking me questions about this and that. They made me take my contacts out so I couldn't see Little Miss when she came out. That baby was out within 30 minutes of the word c-section from the doctor. GG came in to the OB with me since she is a nurse. I figured she would be the best one to come in. Little Miss came out just fine. The doctor made a good decision about the c-section. Everybody was healthy and beautiful. I have been told I looked like a Hot Mama. I think that person was also being nice! I did have a fever the first day and a little of the next. I think that it was just that I was trying to do to much. I mean I had been in labor and my water broke at 2:30 in the morning! So that is the story I guess!

Back by popular demand

Ok not really...... But I am back. So I had my baby on Jan. 10th. It was a quick delivery as I had to have an emergency c- section due to the baby's heart rate being naughty. But everybody is alright. She had very good agar tests so she is just fine. More about that later. So much to catch up with!

So BAB's biomom signed off as I posted before. The next hearing has been moved up to the middle of Feb. to terminate all rights to all biofamily members. After that she is up for adoption. Her case will be moved to an adoption worker. I am not familiar at how that works. So it will be a new experience for everybody. But I will keep everybody updated.

Pilot has been home since Jan 1st. I am really glad he is here to help me. I just hope I don't strangle him before he goes back to work. OK, not really, but you know how it is to be with someone for so long...... He has been a big help though. I can't complain to much.....

OH OH OH OH funny story. At Christmas we had Pilot's immediate family out to have Christmas. I happened to be out to the gas station when he arrived. I usually put Shiela in her crate at first when people come because she gets a little protective and tends to ummmmm...... be a little aggressive. Nothing overly bad thus far, but just likes to show people who's boss. (BTW we have really been working on this since she is not boss!) So anyways, Pilot does not put Sheila in her crate. So when Pilot's dad came she was doing ok until he bent down to pick up BAB. The old man got a nip on the butt! I thought it was funny. He is man of shall we say questionable character so it was funny to me. Then we had Pilot's grandparents(Paternal) over for a visit with the new baby. We told them the story. And she says 'Must be she(the dog) is a good judge of character.' His own mother said that! BAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

OK, enough for now. I will try and post later. I will do a whole post on the birth day and the new moniker name for the baby later.

Still no baby

Well, I am due in 2 more days. I am ready to pop. In fact I thought she was going to last night! Pop out that is. I have only had braxton hicks contractions since New Years day. They should really call it false hope! Dirty rotten stupid contractions...... But anyway, last night she was pushing out every where. I felt like that lady from Alien the movie or whatever it was. I showed Pilot and he was like 'Does that hurt?'. I was like 'No, it kinda tickles'. (insert dry sarcastic look here) 'I'm reduced to a heap on the chair when she hits my sciatica because I am laughing so hard....' OY!

My friend and I are going to a coffee house this morning. I am contemplating what I can get to get this baby out! I drink coffee most mornings so that won't help. Maybe I could eat something healthy....... :)