Monday, July 23, 2007

It sucks to be on the other side

A very good friend of mine had a miscarriage today. She has had a long road of infertility like me. She finally got pregnant with in vitro and lost the baby today. What sucks the most is that I'm on the other side this time. I remember how I felt when I was going through years of infertility and all these people kept getting 'pleasantly surprised'. I was so mad with jealousy. I can't describe how it feels to be going through what my friend is going through right now. If I could I would have a baby for her. I would do anything for her. But the worst part is- I'm on the other side now that I'm pregnant. Its the sad truth. I understand the hate and the jealousy the best, but I can not help her. I am the last person she wants to see. I understand. I do. I don't know why God chose this time for something like this to happen, but he always does it for a reason. My heart is breaking for her. I wonder where this is in the fair book. Why do I get to be pregnant and not her? Why do the druggies and otherwise bad parents continue to get pregnant on a whim when there are so many hurting infertile woman? Why? Why.........

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